


Battleship II

by woodpusher



Category: Battleship (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 16:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19772383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodpusher/pseuds/woodpusher
Summary: I didn't like this movie.  I didn't even watch the whole thing.  I'm glad that IvaliceForever did though.  It's not that great of a gift - but it appears that works get noticed if you make them gifts.This is Alternate Universe, after the movie. Somehow, the movie ruined my memories of the game.





	Battleship II

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IvaliceForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvaliceForever/gifts).



Admiral Shane has retired from the Navy. He takes a job as an instructor at a private military college, teaching military strategy. Lt. Alex Hopper has retired as well, and teaches athletics. In their classes are two foreign students, named Rusty Salmon and Schuyler Periwinkle. Salmon comes from a Pacific Island nation called Rubrica, while Periwinkle comes from a nearby Pacific Island nation called Cerulea. Red is Rubrica's favorite color. Rubrica's flag is completely red. As in Russian, the very word means "pretty." Names in Rubrica are often synonymous with "red" - as in "Rusty Salmon." Meanwhile, Blue is Cerulea's favorite color. Its flag is completely blue. Again, names in Cerulea are often synonymous with "blue" - as in Schuyler ("Sky") Periwinkle. 

On the first day of class, Shane starts his lecture.

"Students, the next war will be fought with drones. You program the drone to go to coordinates, and discharge their payload. Don't count on the drone returning. It will almost certainly be destroyed in the attack, but not before it tells you whether it was successful. If it is destroyed prior to attack you know your enemy is there. Send more drones as quickly as possible. Your enemy will not be able to stop them all."  
"Resist the temptation to simply photograph the enemies ships with your drone. It's best to shoot your drone high above the clouds, then let it drop to its preprogrammed coordinates, coming down at full blast so it can deliver its shock and awe." 

"Map out the area. You can use squares or hexagons. A cell size of 200 feet is good. A 200 ft.square is 40000 square feet - almost an acre. A 200 foot hexagon, inscribed diameter, is slightly smaller, 34641 square feet. The circumscribed diameter is 231 feet.

A Nimitz class aircraft carrier is just over 1000 feet - it will take up 5 cells. Its beam is actually 252 feet, but 5 equally spaced drone attacks should sink it.

An Iowa class batteship is over 800 feet long - if you hit all 4 cells it occupies, the battleship should sink. Its beam is only 108 feet. 

An Ohio class submarine, or a Ticonderoga class cruiser, is not quite 600 feet - it should take up 3 cells though. The cruiser's beam is 55 feet, the sub's beam is 42 feet.

A Fletcher class destroyer is not quite 400 feet, and its beam is 40 feet - two hits and it should sink."

"When you fire your drones, send them out systematically, not randomly. Try every five cells for starters. Once you pepper the area with drones that way, there won't be anywhere for their aircraft carrier to hide." 

"At first, when you develop your drone launchers, you might get one shot off before your enemy fires theirs. After your launchers are perfected, you can put a drone launcher on every ship, and get as many shots as you have ships before you get any return fire. Another strategy involves developing a long-range torpedo, where you can attack every cell in a row or column until a ship is hit in one turn.[1] Yet another strategy involves floating a reinforcement at some point during the battle.[1]" 

The students, especially Rusty and Schuyler, enjoyed Shane's lectures. Rusty and Schuyler always tried to outdo the other. Rusty would do better in Military Strategy, and Schuyler would do better in Computer Programming. Each one had his own athletic prowess - Schuyler had better speed and strength, Rusty had better stamina and balance. 

After four years, they graduated and returned home to their respective countries. They kept in touch though. Every time  
there was an international competition, there would be a phone call.

"Our soccer team beat your soccer team!" said Rusty. '  
"We'll get you next time," said Schuyler.  
Next time, it might be water polo. "Our team beat your team," said Schuyler.  
"Neither of our teams is likely to win a medal" said Rusty.  
Sadly, one day, war broke out between Rubrica and Cerulea. It was just as Adm. Shane said it would be. Rusty's assistants manned their radar and telescopes, seeing whether the drones made a hit or a miss. Schuyler's assistants did the same. After several days of drone attacks, finally there was a hit. "Boom!" It was a hit on Cerulea's batteship, the Blue Meanie.  
"It was a hit," Ensign Denim told Admiral Periwinkle. "The Blue Meanie is disabled. It's only a matter of time before Rubrica figures out the alignment of the ship." A few hours later comes another drone. Rubrica had guessed wrong. Admiral Periwinkle would get another shot. He tells Ensign Denim the coordinates. Alas, it was a miss." In another few hours comes another drone. "Boom!" That was the second hit on the Blue Meanie. There were onboard casualties, and the sailors on the Blue Meanie got into lifeboats. There were only a few hours left before the Blue Meanie would sink. "Boom!" came the next drone. Only the captain and a few crew remained on board. They had to stay, just so they could make sure the next drone would be destroyed. Finally there was another "Boom!" The Blue Meanie sank to the bottom of the ocean.

Admiral Periwinkle's phone rang. He answered, and it was Admiral Salmon on the other end of the line.  
"What do you have to say for yourself, Schuyler?"  
"You sunk my battleship![2]"

**Author's Note:**

> [1] This is a reference to the online version (it was on Pogo, probably still is)  
> [2] This line was frequently used in the TV commercials.


End file.
